I’ve been neglecting you shamefully darling.

The only worthwhile comment on the US elections:
“Obama is so skinny he looks like a spring chicken”
Kindly contributed by The Boss.
In other news I’ve wanted to share this totally rad joke like forEVER!
Why is an elephant huge, grey and wrinkly?
Ans:
Because if it were small, white and smooth,
it would be an aspirin
*guffaw, splutter, choke, wheeze, [...]